Happy St. Patty's Day!

(Try reading this poem in your best Irish accent. It makes it a lot funnier, even if your accent stinks!)

“St. Patty’s Day” by Adam O’Lazarus

Everyone is Irish!
For today’s St. Patty’s Day!
So have a bowl of “Lucky Charms” and join the IRA.

Drink a shot of whiskey,
Or a pint of Guinness stout.
Eat a baked potato with a side of salted trout.

Rent a Liam Neeson movie.
Learn to “Riverdance.”
Wear a kilt to work today instead of wearing pants.

Watch a Boston Celtics game.
Riot in the streets.
Read some Irish poetry by William Butler Yeats.

Listen to your “U2” albums.
Play your “House of Pain.”
Look upon the English both with loathing and disdain.

Pick a four leaf clover.
Find a leprechaun.
Kiss someone who’s Irish (only if their pin is on.)

Tell your friend a limerick.
Start a soccer fight.
Don’t say words like “ass or “shit”, instead say “arse” and “shite.”

Learn to play the bagpipes.
Swim in Keltic lochs.
Wear your lucky plastic derby covered in shamrocks.

Sing “ta-LOO-ra-LOO-ra,”Or a verse from “Danny Boy.”
Call yourself Fitzpatrick or O’Malley or Malloy.

Everyone is Irish,
On this blessed holiday!
(And after twenty lagers it won’t matter anyway.)

No one cares where you are from,
Or what you like to do.
If you’re a fan of getting drunk St. Patty’s is for you.

So grab a beer. Wear some green.
And eat delicious scones.
But if you hate St. Patty’s Day then kiss my blarney stones!